Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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