Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Princesses don't give blow jobs
two words: eviction party
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
