I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
