Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
