i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
