just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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