There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
