Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
