So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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