I love black thongs
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
