I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
