i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
