brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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