Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you didnt know i had herpes?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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