so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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