is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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