They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
