Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
