Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Shame - the story of my life.
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