It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.