Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.