Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  please come you make the beer taste better

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  (520): please come you make the beer taste better http://tfl.nu/dzlt
  Replies (16) Good night (4904) Bad night (757)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck

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  (413): Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck http://tfl.nu/rnye
  Replies (5) Good night (1401) Bad night (3644)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience

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  (302): dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience http://tfl.nu/d1lz
  Replies (49) Good night (745) Bad night (6346)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.

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  (508): she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it. http://tfl.nu/mcxs
  Replies (38) Good night (1787) Bad night (7420)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.

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  (937): Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies. http://tfl.nu/1bgy
  Replies (29) Good night (1357) Bad night (6694)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Salt in an open wound right now.

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  (301): I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job. (704): How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore? (301): Salt in an open wound right now. http://tfl.nu/m9a1
  Replies (17) Good night (1775) Bad night (5344)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.

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  (530): the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been. http://tfl.nu/so6l
  Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (3209)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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  (661): I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report. http://tfl.nu/3xqn
  Replies (9) Good night (4101) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  YOU would be the Freshman Expirence

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  (217): He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that.. (1-217): YOU would be the Freshman Expirence http://tfl.nu/md5b
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.

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  (519): I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore. http://tfl.nu/9p2a
  Replies (4) Good night (1432) Bad night (957)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?

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  (870): She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her? http://tfl.nu/qt09
  Replies (3) Good night (1698) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.

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  (507): My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp. http://tfl.nu/u9b9
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep

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  (281): I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep http://tfl.nu/mi4b
  Replies (4) Good night (815) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?

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  (585): Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning? http://tfl.nu/f296
  Replies (4) Good night (932) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.

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  (503): The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company. http://tfl.nu/1nom
  Replies (0) Good night (378) Bad night (162)

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