Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(615): View more from Tennessee

everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent

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(615): everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent http://tfl.nu/hnio

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(734): View more from Michigan

Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?

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(734): Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths? http://tfl.nu/85c1

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off

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(570): A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off http://tfl.nu/1xmy

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(256): View more from Alabama

Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.

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(256): Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee. http://tfl.nu/nrww

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(914): View more from New York

i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.

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(914): i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed. http://tfl.nu/dx0g

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(562): View more from California

I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.

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(562): I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here. http://tfl.nu/jxmt

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(416): View more from Toronto

Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.

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(416): Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender. http://tfl.nu/ts7y

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.

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(780): Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex. http://tfl.nu/0kw1

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.

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(919): Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday. http://tfl.nu/t5o9

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(775): View more from Nevada

The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me

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(775): The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me http://tfl.nu/fs79

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(402): View more from Nebraska

WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

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(402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl

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(703): View more from Virginia

No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die

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(703): No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die http://tfl.nu/xp9d

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(302): View more from Delaware

Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains

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(302): Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains http://tfl.nu/rusa

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(817): View more from Texas

If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.

(1-817): View more from Texas

It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.

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(817): If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex. (1-817): It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it. http://tfl.nu/yr72

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(334): View more from Alabama

this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him

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(334): this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him http://tfl.nu/vg1j

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