dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
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I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics