is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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