Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

He has that thing where they hang SUPER low

(650): View more from California

Ewww!! Elephantitis

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(313): He has that thing where they hang SUPER low (650): Ewww!! Elephantitis http://tfl.nu/rmok

Replies (7) Good night (706) Bad night (1258)
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(904): View more from Florida

You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.

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(904): You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus. http://tfl.nu/zy6a

Replies (37) Good night (4709) Bad night (813)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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(262): Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face. http://tfl.nu/let7

Replies (4) Good night (693) Bad night (3404)
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(404): View more from Georgia

what's for breakfast?

(678): View more from Georgia

Advil and throwup

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(404): what's for breakfast? (678): Advil and throwup http://tfl.nu/nzn0

Replies (19) Good night (1440) Bad night (5558)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning

(519): View more from Ontario

Omg I think I'm in the wrong class

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(519): I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning (519): Omg I think I'm in the wrong class http://tfl.nu/znqx

Replies (11) Good night (3868) Bad night (664)
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(850): View more from Florida

Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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(850): Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips http://tfl.nu/pmcc

Replies (1) Good night (491) Bad night (861)
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(206): View more from Washington

Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.

(206): View more from Washington

Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.

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(206): Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack. (1-206): Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on. (206): Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together. http://tfl.nu/xcw6

Replies (11) Good night (2194) Bad night (506)
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(419): View more from Ohio

I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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(419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70

Replies (6) Good night (488) Bad night (1090)
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(916): View more from California

That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

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(916): That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe. http://tfl.nu/yz4h

Replies (4) Good night (508) Bad night (1399)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.

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(610): I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents. http://tfl.nu/hwmn

Replies (8) Good night (1758) Bad night (570)
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(940): View more from Texas

She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.

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(940): She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick. http://tfl.nu/jiew

Replies (9) Good night (2059) Bad night (640)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.

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(330): Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing. http://tfl.nu/k9wn

Replies (9) Good night (1129) Bad night (329)
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(319): View more from Iowa

She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.

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(319): She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high. http://tfl.nu/fsls

Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (613)
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(330): View more from Ohio

apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.

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(330): apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast. http://tfl.nu/hvsr

Replies (5) Good night (897) Bad night (266)
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(512): View more from Texas

I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.

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(512): I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down. http://tfl.nu/fm9e

Replies (3) Good night (340) Bad night (531)

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