i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize