Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance

  (303): View more from Colorado

  It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance (303): It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime. http://tfl.nu/1z36
  Replies (16) Good night (2323) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/vfy9
  Replies (26) Good night (12097) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time http://tfl.nu/1urp
  Replies (40) Good night (6691) Bad night (1592)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day

  (240): View more from Maryland

  hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day (240): hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine http://tfl.nu/f8k7
  Replies (10) Good night (4180) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore. http://tfl.nu/fjzm
  Replies (39) Good night (1226) Bad night (6592)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too. http://tfl.nu/16uc
  Replies (23) Good night (7219) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training. http://tfl.nu/cz3b
  Replies (15) Good night (4438) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure" http://tfl.nu/54yc
  Replies (15) Good night (1278) Bad night (3794)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly http://tfl.nu/7zul
  Replies (3) Good night (1877) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/278e
  Replies (20) Good night (6440) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way http://tfl.nu/3nwb
  Replies (7) Good night (1480) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/cot7
  Replies (26) Good night (5922) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being http://tfl.nu/4klh
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today http://tfl.nu/jv97
  Replies (3) Good night (849) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone! http://tfl.nu/i9ym
  Replies (5) Good night (1231) Bad night (557)

Randomize