Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
