If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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