drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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