I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
