I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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