We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
