What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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