The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
