She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We don't watch enough power rangers
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
