party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize