Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
