the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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