i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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