She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
