so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
