Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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