when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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