I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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