Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
