Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
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he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
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Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
be right there i have to get my cape
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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