I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
