You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
