i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
tell me about the fingering
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