why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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