So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
