Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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