Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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