Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
