he puts the penis in happiness.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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