Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
