so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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