It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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