Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
