i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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