I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
