It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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