Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it glows. i had to have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize