oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
