so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
