I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize