i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
